i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
