this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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