Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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