I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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