Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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