you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
