he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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