I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
