I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
