So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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