You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
