I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
