the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
