he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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