You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize