I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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