So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
