i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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