Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
