You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize