Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
