i wish my penis had a tongue
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
