there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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