Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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