I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
