You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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