You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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