i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
