Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
