She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize