ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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