They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
