I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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