Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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