So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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