Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
