meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Hippo gnu deer
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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