WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
