I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
