SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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