Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
