yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
