Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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