We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
