I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
