"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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