New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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