New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize