Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
