he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
