thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I love you. Go after that dick
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
