I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize