there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Less talking, more tequila
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
