True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
