Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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