I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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