Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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