Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
