i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.