laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
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I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
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My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid