Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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