A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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