Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize