I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize